Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Author’s Notes
1. I would like the reader to understand the unique characters personalities that i saw in the two stories. A theme that i was trying to get across was that you never leave a friend behind.
2. This story was easy to write because both characters are from New York.
3. It was hard to write about the war . And it was also hard incorporating Alfred in England and him and Daisy knowing each other.
4. I would have like to write more about the days that Alfred  and Daisy were apart from each other. And also, I would have liked to add about Daisy’s relationship she gains with her cousins during her visit to England. Feedback questions that would be helpful would be did the story make sense when you read it? Did you get the relationship between characters? And, was the ending good and did it go with the story?


How I Live Now- Daisy and Piper
The Contender- Alfred Brooks
Setting- Airport, Boxing Ring, Farmhouse



Daisy stood alone and afraid in the airport waiting for any sign of her cousin, though she didn’t know what they looked like, or even their names. Suddenly, a skinny stranger that looked beat up and struggling stumbled upon her. This stranger said “hello, Daisy what are you doing here?” Daisy confused replied. “ I’m here to visit my cousins, who are you?” The strange let off a soft chuckle and said, “oh, you don’t remember me i’m Alfred, i used to live down the street from you, but I moved to Harlem last year.”  Daisy suddenly remembered her old neighbor and said “oh hey Alfred, why are you here?” Alfred told Daisy all about his many fights and how now he was fighting in England because he was dominating in the United States.


    Daisy and Alfred walked and talk for awhile about old memories together and Aunt Pearl. Finally, Daisy heard what sounded like her named being yelled from across the airport, “ DAISY, DAISY!” Daisy and Alfred walked up to the boy shouting her name, that looked about her age all alone in the airport.


Daisy said. “Hi, i’m Daisy who are you?”
The boy replied back “Hello Daisy I am your cousin Edmond.”


    The three walked through the airport together till they finally reached the car. Edmond got into the drivers seat while Alfred and Daisy stood there confused. “Um… aren’t you a little young to be driving a car,” Alfred said. Edmond looked confused and shot back with “oh, here we don’t have to wait around and get a license we drive when we’re ready, so get in.” The two stood there unsure weather to run or get in. They eventually jumped in and were off. On the way to the house they passed many small houses and farms with livestock. After a long drive they pulled into a farmhouse with a small girl on the porch. They got out of the car and approached the little girl who Edmond explained to them was Piper his little sister and that he also has a twin and older brother inside, and that his mom ( Aunt Penn) was away working and should be home in a couple of days. Alfred being so shy just followed Daisy as if he was her shadow. Alfred has always had a boxing instinct since he started at Donatelli’s Gym, every chance he had to fight he would and that’s why he’s here now. Daisy, and her cousins accompanied Alfred to his match he was fighting England superstar Curtis Edwards. the bell rang, and Alfred was on his game ducking punches, he ending the match in the third round with a TKO.


    All of a sudden shots rang out across the stadium and explosions occur. War breaks out.


    Daisy grabs Piper hand and runs for shelter, she escapes the stadium hoping that everyone else has too. She ran to the streets and finally makes it back to the house with Piper. She waits there anxiously for the boys. Then, the boys run in screaming, “ GET IN THE BARN, GET IN THE BARN!” But Alfred is nowhere to be scene. The cousins frantically run out into the barn and Daisy wondered behind.


    After a couple of hours blasts calm down and the kids are asleep, but Daisy is wide awake nervous about her friend. She lay awake remembering her neighbor and trying to stay positive thinking, he’s ok i know he is, she thought back to a few years ago when Alfred was accused of robbing that Jewish store where he worked, but it turned out to be his best friend James, or when that mean boy Major threatened to give him a squealers scar just to set an example of him. Or when he explained to her when he first walked up those steps to Donatelli’s Gym his life changed forever. She wandered on for hours but slowly fell asleep next to Edmond.


Days went on without Alfred and Daisy grew more worried by the day. She once ran away with Piper late at night searching for Alfred but after several days looking they went home.  


But one morning she woke up early to the two dogs howling at someone and she immediately thought… “Alfred!” She looked outside to see if it was really true, and it was Alfred Brooks was banging on their front door!


She ran towards him and gave him a big hug thankful that they both survived the war. Then after about a month with the cousins and boxing matches, they both took a plane back to New York together, trying to forget what they’ve scene in the war.


   
   

3 comments:

  1. I like how you started your story with the way the book started, it was a good sort of confusion and shows you remembered what you read. I feel that part was described really well just as it was in the real story! The characters had a good conversation that actually made sense, and I didn't question anything while reading it. "
    She ran towards him and gave him a big hug thankful that they both survived the war. Then after about a month with the cousins and boxing matches, they both took a plane back to New York together, trying to forget what they’ve scene in the war. " That part of the story you wrote, was good but it should have some slight more detail in it because It was really vague. I couldn't picture an image in my head. Otherwise, good story!

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  2. When i read this story it reminded me of the movie Narnia because one of the characters name is Edmond and it involves a war. I began to see images of average children being thrown into horrible situations. the setting that was best described in the story was when the war broke out,because you made it sound hectic and scary just like a real war,also its the most memorable part of your story. my favorite line from the story was when Alfred said,“oh, here we don’t have to wait around and get a license we drive when we’re ready, so get in.”because it was a clever and funny line. the characters seemed real and natural when the war began because you can tell from their reactions and words that they where truly frightened. you can also tell their real because they all act like normal children. i personally think my least favorite part of the story was near the middle when you started writing about Alfred and his boxing because i felt like it didn't fit into the story very well,plus i got kind of bored reading that part. But i think this story was very well written overall, and if i didn't know any better then i would think that an actual author wrote this. Very good story!

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  3. Hi Marley! I think that the character choices you made for your story were great. They all seemed to interact together well. One of my favorite aspects of your story was the emotion you created between Daisy and Alfred. You illustrated it well when you wrote "After a couple of hours blasts calm down and the kids are asleep, but Daisy is wide awake nervous about her friend." These two characters aren't even from the same book, but you made them feel like they have been together forever. I wish I could have heard more about what happened to Alfred while he was away from Daisy. I am so curious as to what he was up to and how he survived for all that time! I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future. Keep up the good work!

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